My friend and mentor, Debra Gwartney, recently published a memoir, Live Through This, about a terrifying stretch of time in the mid-90s when her two older daughters, then in high school and middle school, ran away first for a few nights at a time and later for months. Debra’s finishing up a book tour, and she read in Eugene the other night. After her daughter Amanda’s moving introduction and Debra’s heartbreaking reading, Debra mentioned, while answering a question, that Amanda and Stephanie are both superbly creative, intelligent women. A family friend told her that they had needed to express their creativity somehow; they couldn’t have just sat home and done their homework, essentially. Debra wishes she’d known how to channel that energy.
It scared me a bit, both the reading and this comment. I mean, Debra’s sometimes discouraging but ultimately family-strengthening experience could put the fear of daughters into any red-blooded parent. But that comment about smart teenagers scared me even more. I think I have at least one of those children – those creative, brilliant ones.
And I’m not like that. While I have some artistic talents, it’s more in the execution of an idea, not in the development of said idea. I sat home and did my homework when I was in high school. I wasn’t full of passion and creative energy and spirit. Sylvan might be.
I’m started the channeling of his creative energy right now. We’re working on cutting and collages.
Tonight, Sylvan pulled himself onto my lap and told me that he loves me. Unsolicited. Some people might not have to wait nearly 3 1/2 years for that. Debra might have waited longer.
I wish I could have been there. I think of Debra all the time, she influenced me more than anyone else in grad school. I often think that traditional schooling probably isn’t great for a lot of kids. I too, did my homework, got good grades, met expectations, but there are a lot of kids that that model doesn’t work for…we have some time to think about it, but I’m definitely considering home schooling with lots of field trips and kid-driven project. Unless, I’m too tired.