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Some Things to Do Before I Go

Posted by julie on Sunday, 17 April 2011, 1:17

I’m in no rush, because I plan to last a century, but I might as well get started. My ongoing “bucket list” has some overlap with the Top Ten Natural Places I Want to Visit. In brainstorming order, my undoubtedly incomplete list:

  1. Learn to surf (someplace warm, without sharks)
  2. Learn to play at least a dozen songs on the guitar and participate in a campfire sing-along
  3. Learn to skateboard (maybe from my daughter or son) Update 2021: I’m no expert, but, since having kids, I am better than pathetic on a skateboard. No tricks. No drop-ins.
  4. Visit Machu Picchu
  5. Get a nice digital SLR and be proud of my photographs again Accomplished with a Sony Nex5, August 2011. No one paid me anything to say, “Get this camera. You won’t regret it.”
  6. Publish some of my writing in a real magazine February 2016: “Mountains to Climb” in Brain, Child magazine
  7. Dance with Ghanaians in Ghana
  8. Make a video that is good enough to give away
  9. See elephants and lions where they live
  10. Spend more than two weeks enjoying/relaxing in Bali (or someplace equally buoyant, warm, and surrounded by ocean)
  11. Climb to the highest point in each of the 50 states (continental 48?): Gannett Peak in WY, Mt. Washington in NH, Mt. Marcy in NY down; that leaves 47! (Oh, gosh, does this really mean I have to go back to Florida?) November 2011 update: Frissell in CT, Graylock in MA, Ebright Azimuth in DE, Jerimoth Hill in RI (This one doesn’t really count, since I only made it to the highway near the high point, which is a couple of feet higher and a few hundred feet from the road. We arrived at 4:45, and it closes at 4.). June 2013: Hood in Oregon. August 2014: Mansfield in Vermont.
  12. Visit each of the 50 states: only Michigan, North Dakota, Oklahoma, and Nebraska left
  13. Become a better listener
  14. Live in the Dolomites for at least a school year August 2019: Done! We lived in Bolzano from August-June, the kids went to an Italian school, and we all did our share of skiing and trail running.
  15. Hike the Continental Divide Trail
  16. Live near the beach for a year and spend each morning walking with the waves
  17. Climb in Yosemite
  18. Finish a quilt
  19. Catch fireflies with my grandchildren (or someone else’s grandchildren)
  20. Learn another language well enough to have a conversation on the phone August 2019: I had more than one phone conversation in Italian this past year. I didn’t enjoy any of them, and I’m not particularly fluent. But I did it.
  21. Hike the 52-mile Torres del Paine circuit in Patagonia
  22. Go on an epic bike trip, maybe in Sweden Update: I think maybe I’d prefer Nova Scotia.
  23. Lead a multi-pitch, maybe the Beckey route on Liberty Bell
  24. Visit Rocky Mountain National Park. August 2014: The cousins reunion was just outside RMNP this August, so we hiked there nearly every day. I’ll have to go back to climb Longs Peak, though. Anyone interested?
  25. Backpack in the Brooks Range
  26. Run a marathon in under 4 hours November 2011 update: I’m signed up for the Eugene Marathon in April. This is the one!; April 2012 update: 3:58:46 at April 30, 2012 Eugene Marathon
  27. Read Moby-Dick
  28. Take my kids to a drive-in, maybe at the Spud in Driggs. August 2014: Mom and I took the kids to see Popeye, in honor of Robin Williams, at the new and decidedly awesome drive-in in Amenia, just blocks from where I went to elementary school (my kids particularly liked how the bathrooms were designated with a moustache and some pouty lips). We also passed three(!) working drive-ins on the drive back from Washington last week—one somewhere north of Coupeville on Whidbey Island, one south of Port Townsend, and one northwest of Olympia. So many possibilities…
  29. Introduce my children to drinking milk through a Tim Tam (I learned it with red wine, but that’s a few years down the road)
  30. Teach my nephew something naughty but benign
  31. Climb Mount Kilimanjaro
  32. Go horsepacking
  33. Visit Walden Pond
  34. Ride a rollercoaster with my children and eventually with my grandchildren (my Gram set a high standard) August 2019: We’ve been our fair share of roller coasters. The whole family loves them.
  35. Go on a women’s only yoga/canyoneering retreat (or meditation/surfing, or some equally active and calm combo)
  36. Write every day for a year
  37. Draw every day for a year
  38. Take my children to see a meteor shower in Arizona, Montana, Kiribati, or someplace equally dark. Lie in the road and see 60 or more shooting stars in an hour. 2021 update: We’ve definitely enjoyed some meteor showers. Last year’s Perseids, which we spent at McKenzie Pass, was quite spectacular.
  39. Go to the top of the Rifle Tower (okay, Eiffel, but Sylvan said this the other day and it made me smile) August 2019: We went to the top of the Eiffel Tower last March, when we met friends from Eugene in Paris for the weekend (that sounds so sophisticated and cosmopolitan).
  40. Climb to the top of the Statue of Liberty
  41. Take a Valium and take my kids to Disney Land. No Valium required. I couldn’t believe how much fun I had, and, at 6 and 9, the kids were really great ages to both take in the magic and appreciate the thrill rides. After Space Mountain, Elena said, “Let’s go again!” When it’s not even 9 a.m., and there’s not much of a line, we could say, “Why not?” Halloween 2014.
  42. Take my Mom and daughter to a fancy tea somewhere
  43. Sell my silkscreened stuff
  44. Learn to play chess from Sylvan April 2012 update: Sylvan’s taught me how to play, and he reminds me every time we play of how each piece can move. We are currently similarly matched; he will be beating me in just a few months.
  45. Sing karaoke in front of people (this one scares me more than any other, I think)

I’m a bit distressed by the amount of fossil fuel that the travel on my list would consume. I have considered biking to the base of the highest points in each of the 50 states, then hiking…

A Few Things I’ve Already Done That Would Be On My Bucket List Otherwise

  1. Hot air ballooned (a stroke of absolute genius on my Mom’s part; this was the world’s best high school graduation present)
  2. SCUBA dived at the Great Barrier Reef
  3. Swum with dolphins in New Zealand
  4. Become a NOLS instructor
  5. Danced in a semi-professional company
  6. Studied abroad
  7. Fallen in love, more than once (More than once wasn’t on my list, but those people have made my life richer.)
  8. Run into a grizzly. Or two. (This wasn’t on my list either, but I’m glad it happened.)
  9. Run a marathon. Or three. Four actually, as of April 2012.
  10. Ridden in a helicopter. Or two.
  11. Been to a concert at Carnegie Hall
  12. Been on TV (a few times)
  13. Climbed at least 10 of Oregon’s volcanoes: South Sister, Bachelor, McLoughlin, Bailey, Cowhorn, Diamond Peak, Washington, Maiden Peak, Lava Butte, Mt. Scott November 2011 update: Thielsen. Summer 2012: Three-Fingered Jack, Broken Top. Summer 2013: Hood, Black Crater, Little Belknap.

Posted in the categories Julie, Music, Oregon, outdoors, Parents and Kids, Running, Travel by julie on Sunday, 17 April 2011, 1:17 | 2 Comments »

Appreciating My Preschoolers

Posted by julie on Monday, 7 February 2011, 21:38

I wrote these first few paragraphs a week and a half ago, and I intended to follow them up with an account of our trip to the beach, farther below. My words seem prescient and bittersweet, given the sad events at the coast this weekend and my last blog entry.

27 January 2010

Dear Sylvan and Elena,

The truth is that I wish I realized, every single moment of every single day, how fleeting this is, how you’re going to grow up and be teenagers tomorrow. But I’ve never been patient, and I feel like parenting preschoolers is all about boundless patience.

But today I appreciated you both. And I have some joyous images in my mind that will remain with me when you’re 13. We headed up to Salem so I could pick up a craigslist find from a seller in Keizer. You guys and I went to A.C. Gilbert’s Discovery Village to make a day of it. What a super place! It consists of three old Victorian houses, painted brightly and filled to bursting with exciting, well-considered kid rooms.

Snapshots I’ll remember: Elena disappearing into the black void of the slide below me, completely fearless. Sylvan in a scarlet macaw costume two sizes too small, a costume you returned to when I said we had 15 more minutes before our drive home.

Tonight, when Sonya arrived to babysit, she said to you, Elena: “Are you my bug?” You replied,  “You my bud.” G’s are challenging.

The craigslist find, in place in our bathroom. Not a project, and under $100. And look at the bonus cutest cat in the world!

7 February

When the kids and I got into the car in Eugene last Thursday, it was 38°F and partly cloudy. An hour and a half later, at the beach, it was 55°F and sunny. We packed a backpack of sand toys, snacks, and warm clothes, and we set off for the boardwalk trail through the dunes. The highlight of the day for both kids was pooping in the dunes; I do what I can to provide authentic experiences. We spun, ran, skittered from the waves, threw wet sand at a tree stump, ate, played horseshoes, drew letters in the sand, turned cartwheels, got our clothes wet and sandy, patted nice dogs, walked pretty far (Sylvan on his own, with zero whining. Yay!), collected shells and driftwood, and even relaxed for 3½ minutes (Oh, that was just me.).

Then, the angels fell asleep in the backseat while I listened to a podcast on the way home (Have you ever noticed that every sleeping child is an angel?).

On the boardwalk trail. I love her look; I feel like she rarely looks to him for reassurance, but maybe she's just good at pretending.

Ah, dune running. I remember the first time I did it: on Cape Cod with Aunt Sheila and Mom.

I definitely wanted to take this home for our backyard. I considered rolling it. Far. I think it was the same age when it was cut down that I am now. Look at the little people footprints in the sand.

See ya, Mom. We're going in!

Run away, run away!

Okay, am I supposed to throw this wet sand in your eyes or call it poop?

Sand dance

See my sand?

Posted in the categories Elena, Elena Says, Family, Oregon, outdoors, Parents and Kids, Sylvan, Travel by julie on Monday, 7 February 2011, 21:38 | 1 Comment »

Love and Laughter

Posted by julie on Monday, 7 February 2011, 0:06

Dear Sylvan and Elena,

Tonight, I found out that two South Eugene High School seniors drowned when a sneaker wave caught them off-guard while they were walking down the coast in Yachats. They weren’t doing anything particularly risky, just walking with their friends, who tried desperately to save them.

I walked into each of your rooms, replacing blankets that had been tossed off and studying your sleeping faces. I realized that I won’t be able to protect you from any possible harm. You will grow, and I can teach you to try to make good decisions. But there are some things I won’t be able to protect you from—some things that I shouldn’t protect you from, if you’re going to grow up to be independent and capable. I will do my best. And I will kiss you every day we’re together.

Sadly, then I recognized the last name of one of the boys. I’d met him with his Mom, a fellow dancer who will have tears I can’t even begin to comprehend. He was gracious and smiling, just like his mother; and I know that, even though his life was cut tragically short, it was a good life, filled with love and laughter.

Every day, I will try to remember that a life filled with love and laughter is what I want for you.

Love,
Mom

Posted in the categories Family, Friends, Parents and Kids by julie on Monday, 7 February 2011, 0:06 | 1 Comment »

Belknap Afternoon

Posted by julie on Monday, 10 January 2011, 8:41

Mommy got us chocolate. See?

Because if I stayed home with my two children all Sunday I would have been reminded of how much I needed to vacuum (and scrub, tidy, and put away), I packed up Mr. S and Miss E and drove an hour and a half to find snow. We found enough snow still falling from the sky that we came back DOWN the mountain a bit because getting stuck in the snow when it’s just me, two pre-schoolers, and a plastic shovel didn’t sound like something I was up for today. Not only did we find snow, but we found a Japanese Garden, bubbling hot springs, carved wooden bears and bald eagles, Christmas decorations (I’m not the only one with my tree still up. It’s not losing any needles; how can I kick it to the curb?), a superbly warm pool, and at least one ant. Yes, we had to pay to use the Belknap Hot Springs pool, but, at $7 an hour per person, my wallet is only $21.75 lighter after today’s trip. $.75 for chocolate seemed like money well spent, even after my son told me that 3 Musketeers bars taste like metal.

It was snowing enough that we caught snowflakes on our tongues. But Chris realized that it was 60 degrees colder when he and I went to the outdoor hot springs in Banff: -25 F!

Posted in the categories Elena, Oregon, outdoors, Parents and Kids, Sylvan, Travel by julie on Monday, 10 January 2011, 8:41 | 2 Comments »

‘Tis the Season

Posted by julie on Monday, 13 December 2010, 12:30

For your viewing pleasure, our Christmas-y weekend:

Breakfast with Santa, run by the Eugene Downtown Lions Club. Well-organized, inexpensive, no lines for Santa pictures, cute elf hats on the Lions, crafters selling their wares: I wouldn’t go anywhere else for one-on-one time with Santa and Mrs. Claus (who is cute as a button, I might add; she thought the same of Elena). Please note the similarity to last year’s Claus photo (looks like I’ve become a better barber).

Breakfast with the Clauses, 2010

I am smiling.

Sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar

For the first time, we ventured to Coburg for the Christmas light parade, which started, inexplicably, at 7 p.m. on a school night. It’s dark at 5, so? Despite the screeching, chatty, sleepy Elena we had in the car on the way home, the parade was beautiful. We caravanned up with our Porter friends, who make any event 2.7 times as fun as it would have been otherwise. The parade started with a horse-drawn wagon pulling Santa. The horses were blanketed with lights, and each float and fire engine afterward shone with thousands of lights. People on the floats threw candy (in the dark, while the floats were driving by; again, is this such a good idea?), and someone came by handing out cute stuffed animals. Then, while the Porters stood in line for some photos with Santa, we headed home to put our sleepy munchkins to bed.

I took this photo from the wrong spot, but these little houses were adorably painted.

I know: we're gor-geous.

Despite our raingear, the rain actually held off for the entire parade, then started as soon as we piled into the car.

Merry Christmas! Joyful Solstice! Happy end-of-Hannukah!

Posted in the categories Elena, Family, Friends, Holidays, Parents and Kids, Sylvan by julie on Monday, 13 December 2010, 12:30 | 1 Comment »

Clear Lake 2010

Posted by julie on Monday, 25 October 2010, 15:32

Since the weather’s turned decidedly wintry, here’s a memory of the beautiful, clear days of fall.

The day started with potato donut holes; how could it be anything but perfect (or round and cinnamon-y, or fattening and heartburn-inducing, depending on your logic)? Our third fall excursion to Clear Lake included four Moms, four Dads, four sons, and four daughters. Each of the boys is three years older than his sister. Three of the boys are five, and one of the girls is [nearly] five. As the canoeists unloading their car next to us said, we were an REI dream excursion.

Seriously, don't drop me in that water

Eh, you'd never drop me in

Our independent daughter surprised us by allowing Chris to carry her for nearly the whole hike, so we finished the five mile loop in record time: almost a mile an hour! Our active but occasionally undermotivated son surprised us and walked the whole way. Not only that, but he finished the hike pointing out interesting mushrooms: “Mom, it’s a little weird bush made of fungi!” Yes, it helped that, after five years, I’ve finally learned the power of gummy bears and yogurt-covered raisins (both organic and shockingly expensive): “I’ll give you some hiking energy if you make it to that tree [walk another four minutes, catch up to the rest of the kids…]” Bribery? No, no. Motivation. I mean, come on, five miles is far. When was the last time you walked five miles?

The five-year-olds were subtly different from last year’s four-year-olds. They didn’t jostle for the lead hiking position this year. Mostly they noticed and ran and hopped and climbed and threw rocks in the water and hid and fished with creative poles. The two-year-olds ran and hopped and climbed, too, and also whined and napped and exerted their toddlerness. And the eight-year-old gave my son math problems to do in his head, although I think Sylvan thought he was talking about dragons.

Jumping

Fishin'

By the numbers:

  • Eight adults
  • Eight kids
  • Four moms
  • Four dads
  • Four daughters
  • Four sons
  • Three bridges (Four?)
  • One lizard
  • One dead snake
  • A couple dozen ducks (you’ll have to ask a birder if you want to know what kind)
  • Nineteen or so mountain bikers (four of whom we saw again as they lapped us)
  • Two very nice canoeists
  • Seven canoes, kayaks, and rowboats out on Clear Lake at any one time
  • One tropically clear blue lake
  • Two fishing poles made with found sticks, found fishing line, and rosehips
  • Five words to refer to the red of the turning vine maple leaves: scarlet, vermillion, lipstick red, brick red, and firetruck red
  • Many, many different fungi popping through the soil

No, no, that's not a birthmark; it's the Joker (both under the shirt and on her belly).

Posted in the categories Friends, outdoors, Parents and Kids by julie on Monday, 25 October 2010, 15:32 | Comments Off on Clear Lake 2010

Somebody’s been listening

Posted by jonesey on Friday, 13 August 2010, 21:07

The scene: almost finished eating dinner, at a going-away party for some friends.

Sylvan: “Dad, when can I have a treat?”

Elena: “Doo. Minn-ditz.” (Two minutes.)

Mmm, trampoline popsicles

Nothing says summer like being nearly naked and eating popsicles on a trampoline.

Posted in the categories Elena Says, Food, Parents and Kids, Sylvan Says by jonesey on Friday, 13 August 2010, 21:07 | Comments Off on Somebody’s been listening

Two Eggs (Ubb)

Posted by jonesey on Friday, 7 May 2010, 22:29

When Sylvan was about 20 months old, he went from waking up a zillion times in the middle of the night, every night, just because he wanted company, to waking up at 1:30 in the morning and absolutely not going back to sleep because he was starving. After a few nights of this, one of us figured out that we should take him downstairs and stuff him full of scrambled eggs, then put him back to bed.  He slept well.

Then we got really smart. We started feeding him two scrambled eggs immediately before bedtime. And when I say immediately, I mean get your pajamas on, read some books, then go back downstairs, eat two eggs and straight to bed with you, mister boy.

It worked.  He slept through the night, just like that. We fed him two eggs, immediately before bedtime, for months, according to my hazy memory. We went through a lot of eggs. We considered making sacrifices to the chicken gods to ensure plentiful, but what do you sacrifice to chicken gods?

Elena was different.  She slept through the night — most nights — until a few months ago.  We were spoiled. Then she started waking up once a night. Then twice, then three times. Sometimes she would go right back to sleep with a little help, but usually she needed some milk, or a walk around the house, or a walk around the block (ugh). We tried to feed her some eggs right before bedtime, but she has never been the voracious eater that her brother was, and she wasn’t all that interested.

Two nights ago, she woke up at 1:00 and absolutely refused to go back to sleep.  We walked around.  We talked about what we saw outside the window. We went downstairs.  Finally, I offered her some food.  She wanted cheese (she says “gee!”), so I sat her in her chair and fed her a piece of cheese. Ten pieces of cheese, half a peanut butter sandwich, and a cup of cow milk later, she was ready to go back to bed.  She slept well.

Last night, we finally got smart. I got her ready for bed, then fed her two eggs (“ubb!”) right before putting her to sleep.

I awoke in the pre-dawn light, all by myself without an alarm, without hearing any yelling. I was completely bewildered and completely refreshed. What time is it? Heck, what day is it? Am I late for my race? Is it Saturday? Friday? I had just slept all night.  All night! Straight through, without waking up. I can’t remember the last time that happened. Really, I have no idea. It’s been many months, for sure. Wait a minute, if I just slept all night, that means… that means Elena slept all night!

Oh, glorious eggs (ubb!). How I love you. How I cherish you.

Two Eggs (Ubb!)

Elena and Ubb, about fifteen minutes before bedtime

Posted in the categories Chris, Elena, Elena Says, Food, Parents and Kids by jonesey on Friday, 7 May 2010, 22:29 | 1 Comment »

Children are expensive!

Posted by jonesey on Monday, 8 February 2010, 19:55

I was expecting clothes, food, a few toys, soccer gear, and a college fund. What I did not budget for was all of these licensing fees.

I mean, $6.99? And it’s only good for 30 days? Time to write my congressman.

Good thing we got that Target gift card at the baby shower.

Good thing we got that Target gift card at the baby shower.

Posted in the categories Parents and Kids, Sylvan by jonesey on Monday, 8 February 2010, 19:55 | Comments Off on Children are expensive!

Forest Kindergarten Notes

Posted by julie on Friday, 4 December 2009, 10:24

This New York Times article about a Waldorf-based forest kindergarten in Saratoga Springs has lingered in my thoughts for the past couple of days, popping up when I see my son playing outside on his school’s playground or when I get a glimpse of the full moon and long to be camped out in the cold. The slideshow that accompanied the article was particularly affecting, from the leafless November woods to the children sitting around a family-style lunch table in a beautiful old farmhouse. The truth is, this is certainly not the first time I’ve wanted something a little different for my children, a day-to-day existence that involves more exploring, more time spent playing in streams and running around outside until I call them in for dinner (okay, while I realize that Elena’s only one, she’s growing up fast). The formative years that I remember (let’s call them ages 4-11), were spent first on a cul-de-sac and then on a dairy farm. I roamed, I had a fort in a bush in the backyard, I biked, I played cops and robbers, I spent hours engineering the stream, climbing on the hay, and traipsing through the pastures. When I was in fifth grade, I couldn’t believe it when Melissa, in sixth grade, said she had no time to play outside; she was always doing homework. While my jaw may not have literally dropped, I remember that slackjawed feeling, wondering how it was possible to live without playing for hours outside.

Those of you who know me recognize, of course, that I take my kids outside pretty often: we play in the snow, hike, go to the playground. But that’s scheduled by me, and it’s on my terms, really; Sylvan’s not just going outside to splash in the stream (there is no stream, although, if it rains hard enough, the street hosts a stream). These forest kindergarten kids spend three hours outside every morning, just being kids in the outdoors.

We do have a relatively new preschool in town, Dancing Sol, which has gotten rave reviews from the parents whose kids have gone there. I’ve been tempted to send Sylvan there. But that would involve lots of extra driving, and lots of retooling our schedules. Now, we drop off and pick up Elena and Sylvan in a double jogger; we can walk to their school from home, Chris’s work, or my rehearsal. It fits our needs and our values, and Sylvan and Elena know and enjoy their friends and teachers. And, honestly, I would feel like a parent over-engineering my son’s time if I made the switch.

I’ve also been influenced lately by Lenore Skenazy’s blog, Free-Range Kids. She’s been called “the worst mom in the world” for letting her son, who was nine at the time, find his way home on the subway by himself from Bloomingdale’s. This might seem like a scary thing if you don’t live in Manhattan, but this kid grew up there; he been riding the subway for nine years, reading subway maps for three. Her blog is dedicated to encouraging independence in your children by giving them independence (and also pointing out the absurdities of hovering parents and panic-inducing media).

My problem derives largely from our choice to live in the city in order to be able to walk to the grocery store, work, and school. That’s inherently different, of course, from living on a farm or in the forest. But that doesn’t stop me from wanting it all.

So I’m looking for ways to let out the leash, to give my son and my daughter real freedom, real opportunities to get outside and explore and construct without me. And without being turned in to the Department of Human Services.

Posted in the categories Julie, outdoors, Parents and Kids by julie on Friday, 4 December 2009, 10:24 | 1 Comment »

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